Last Updated on 20 February 2024
In Steps 6 & 7 we begin to deal with the character defects (some prefer to call them character defences) that were highlighted by Steps 4 & 5. In Steps 8 & 9 we begin to acknowledge our side of the street – that we hurt people (including ourselves) by our addictive behaviour and start the process of making amends. The Big Book recommends jumping into this process quickly.
Steps 6-7
You can also read or listen to the new SLAA texts: TSSE (Twelve Steps in Simplified English) and the SLAA 12&12.
These questions are designed to assist those of us working the program from Steps Six to Twelve. Before embarking on the following Steps, we need to have completed Step Five. These questions are designed to help us become more familiar with the Steps that are the key to our recovery.
Many of us found that it was essential to continue using our tools of reading and writing in order to stay within the program.
These questions are only suggestions and are an optional way to work the program; they are not a requirement.
After completing Step Six and Seven we met with our sponsor to read out our answers to the questions.
In moving through the character flaws and defences that we have developed over the course of a lifetime, it is important to be intentional and focussed to change our previous decisions and actions. One of the tools that we have is writing. Writing helps to process our thoughts. It can reinforce the behaviours that we are wanting to adapt and adopt. Revisiting the affirmations that we prepared in earlier steps may help. We are always so much more than our addictions or our character flaws.
One method that may be helpful is to write out each character defect that we uncovered as part of Steps 4-6 on a card. Be creative – maybe draw something that reminds you of the flaw. Shuffle them and place them in box or drawer. As you move through Step 7, take one card out and meditate upon it. Reflect on how your life has been made smaller or has been diminished in addiction through this flaw. Imagine what your life will be like if this character defect no longer dominates. When you are ready to surrender this particular flaw to your higher power, destroy the card. Rip that sucker to bits! Maybe have a ceremony with your sponsor when you burn all of the defects?
Some articles that may assist working these steps:
Drop the Rock
Recommended book: Drop the Rock: 2-Book Bundle: Drop the Rock, Second Edition and Drop the Rock, The Ripple Effect
Steps 8-9
Before answering each set of questions, we were advised by our sponsor to read the appropriate Step chapter in Alcoholics Anonymous, AA’s Big Book, Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions, and Sex and Love Addicts Anonymous, SLAA’s basic text.
You can also read or listen to the new SLAA texts: TSSE (Twelve Steps in Simplified English) and the SLAA 12&12.
These questions are designed to assist those of us working the program from Steps Six to Twelve. Before embarking on the following Steps, we need to have completed Step Five. These questions are designed to help us become more familiar with the Steps that are the key to our recovery.
Many of us found that it was essential to continue using our tools of reading and writing in order to stay within the program.
These questions are only suggestions and are an optional way to work the program; they are not a requirement.
We meet after Step Eight to agree on the list of amends.
We meet again Step Nine to go through how each amends will take place.
Step 9 Amends
When it comes time to make an amends, completing this form will make the task a little easier (add it to your Jotform account):
https://www.jotform.com/form-templates/amends-form
For instructions on using Jotform, see Steps 4-5.
When it actually comes time to make the amends, it may feel super weird – like how do you actually go about making contact with the people that you want to make amends with? There are at least two options:
A. If the person knows that you are in recovery, something like this may be appropriate:
As part of my recovery I want to apologise to you. Would you be willing to hear from me on this?
B. If you want to keep things more on the down-low, something like this may be appropriate:
I’ve been thinking about our time together. You didn’t get the best of me and I didn’t treat you as you deserved to be treated.
Would you be willing to have a conversation with me so I can share about this and also listen to your perspective?
