Welcome to slaamen.au – you are not alone.
On Tuesday there are two meetings running at the same time. (Room and Zoom). We combine hybrid on the last Tuesday of the month.
All meetings share the Signal group.
Where to next?
- Learning the Lingo
- 12 Characteristics of Sex and Love Addiction
- Outreach Calls
- Sexual Anorexia
- Frequent Questions + Responses
- Sponsorship Guide – and how to find one
- Prayers for each step
- Program Books
- Recommended books
- Real Men of Sexual Integrity
- Why Porn Can Be Difficult to Quit
- Studies of Over 11,000 Relationships Show 5 Things the Happiest Couples Have in Common
- How Porn Can Become an Escalating Behaviour
God, grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change;
the courage to change the things I can;
and the wisdom to know the difference.
Tradition of Anonymity:
Whom you see here; what you hear here;
when you leave here: let it stay here.
Third Step Prayer
To the GOD of my own understanding:
God, I offer myself to You,
to build with me
and to do with me
as You will.
Relieve me of the bondage of self,
that I may better do Your will.
Take away my difficulties,
that victory over them
may bear witness to those
I would help
of Your Power,
and Your Way of life.
May I do Your will always!
Thanks for sharing – keep coming back!
It works if you work it, and you’re worth it!
We invite you to join us in working the steps, and we encourage you to be rigorously honest from the outset. This is a simple program. Those of us who have suffered from grave emotional and mental disorders have noticed that we can recover if we are willing to be rigorously honest and work the steps.
Our stories disclose in a general way what we used to be like, what happened, and what we are like now. If you have decided you want what we have — and are willing to go to any lengths to get it — then we invite you to work the steps with us. At some of these steps we balked. We thought we could find an easier, softer way. But we could not. With all the earnestness at our command, we encourage you to be fearless and thorough from the start. Some of us have tried to hold on to our old ideas and the result was nil, until we let go absolutely.
Remember that we deal with sex and love addiction, which is cunning, baffling and powerful. Without help, it is too much for us. But there is one who has all power. That one is God. May you find God now!
Half measures availed us nothing. We stood at a turning point and asked for God’s protection and care with complete abandon.
Here are the steps we took which we suggest as a programme of recovery:
1. We admitted we were powerless over sex and love addiction – that our lives had become unmanageable.
2. Came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity.
3. Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood God.
4. Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves.
5. Admitted to God, to ourselves, and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs.
6. Were entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of character.
7. Humbly asked God to remove our shortcomings.
8. Made a list of all persons we had harmed and became willing to make amends to them all.
9. Made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others.
10. Continued to take personal inventory, and when we were wrong promptly admitted it.
11. Sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with a Power greater than ourselves, praying only for knowledge of God’s will for us and the power to carry that out.
12. Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these steps, we tried to carry this message to sex and love addicts, and to practice these principles in all areas of our lives.
Many of us exclaimed, “What an order! I can’t go through with it!” Do not be discouraged. No one among us has been able to maintain anything like perfect adherence to these principles. We are not saints.
The point is that we are willing to grow along spiritual lines. The principles we have set down are guides to progress. We claim spiritual progress rather than spiritual perfection.
Our description of the sex and love addict, the chapter on the agnostic, and our personal adventures before and after, make clear three pertinent ideas:
a. That we are sex and love addicts and cannot manage our own lives.
b. That probably no human power could relieve our sex and love addiction.
c. That God could and would if God were sought.
The Sex and Love Addicts Anonymous HOW Concept has been formed to offer the sex & love addict who accepts the twelve steps and twelve traditions as a program of recovery a disciplined and structured approach. The SLAA HOW groups have been formed in the belief that our disease is absolute and therefore only absolute acceptance of the HOW programme will offer any sustained sobriety to those of us whose compulsion has reached a critical level.
Therefore, the HOW defined bottom-line sobriety, the steps, traditions and tools of recovery are not suggested. Rather, we accept them as requirements for our recovery. We commit ourselves to a black & white sobriety so that we may deal with the grey areas of living.
In HOW we have found that if we commit to using the tools of recovery daily our disease of sex and love addiction can be arrested one day at a time. Here are the tools as we work them according to the HOW concept:
1. Bottom-line sobriety
This is our willingness to stop acting out in our own bottom-line addictive behaviour daily. There are no absolutes for sobriety in SLAA, as individual patterns of sex and love addiction vary. In HOW each sex & love addict works with a sponsor to identify their personal bottom lines. We become sober by daily abstaining from these bottom-line behaviours. We also believe that negative thinking is a large part of our disease, so we’re learning one day at a time to abstain from negative thinking.
2. Literature and Writing
We use SLAA literature as well as the AA Big Book and the 12 Steps and 12 Traditions as tools of examination and release. When we substitute the words “sex and love addict” for “alcoholic” and “sex and love” for “alcohol” we feel we identify absolutely. Our writing assignments in HOW are taken from these.
Attend a minimum of three meetings per week, in-person or online. Meetings are dedicated to the concept of remaining Honest, Open-minded and Willing to listen… this is the HOW of the programme.
4. Telephone Calls
We make four calls a day – one to our sponsor and three outreach calls to other SLAA members. The phone is like a lifeline: we need the contact. It can be like a mini-meeting. Use the chat or join the Signal group to get numbers.
5. Prayer and Meditation
Our practice of daily prayer and meditation is to develop a relationship with a power greater than ourselves which can guide and sustain us in recovery. We ensure our continued and sustained abstinence from sex and love addiction by being forever aware that God is doing for us what we have never been able to do for ourselves.
This is freedom from the bondage of self. Service is working the tools of the program to the best of our ability, giving back what we’ve been given. It’s helping out at meetings, welcoming newcomers and being available for calls and sponsorship. Sobriety is a service to ourselves and the group.
A SLAA HOW sponsor is a sex and love addict who, thank God, has 30 days of continuous sobriety working the SLAA HOW concept and has taken the first three steps. In keeping with our second tradition, our leaders are but trusted servants – they do not govern.
Tuesday Men’s (face-to-face) 7th tradition donations:
Account creation pending
Tuesday Men’s Zoom 7th tradition:
Account: 4 Recovery
For Thursday night meeting please donate to:
Account name: Andre SLAA
Ground Floor, Parish Administration Building, 24 Roslyn Street, Rushcutters Bay
(on the corner, next to St Canice’s Church)
The men’s meetings that are listed on this website are in AET (Australian Eastern Time).
– Sunday 6:30-7:30am (Zoom only – click here)
Find up-to-date information about men’s meetings here. All meetings in AET.
Chat with Recovery Assistant
Use the Recovery chat bot (below and on the bottom right of every screen) to ask the questions you’ve always wanted to know answers to about recovery.